How many times have you been patrolling an aisle in the supermarket and run into a beautiful person? A beautiful woman or man crossing your path and giving you a slight movement of the mouth indicating pleasure in their face. “Say Hi damn it!” That’s what your inner voice is telling you. But, you don’t and you’ll probably never see that person again.
That simple event- seeing someone that you wish to engage because you may never see them again- is the focus of this post. What do you have to lose? We hold ourselves too close and fail to extend ourselves from our 3 square-foot world. It’s maybe due to our inherit nature and need for privacy. Maybe due to the low value we put on ‘strangers’, and how we would treat a ‘stranger’. Or the faulty notion, “…the other person doesn’t want to be bothered”.
Let me get started by stating… We run into these people all the time. On our way to work, at the neighborhood supermarket, the coffee shop, school, waiting rooms, etc… and we never say Hi. Why is that? Why is one satisfied saying, “that girl/guy was hot.” Yeah… WAS, because he/she is gone now, and all it would have taken is a little time to say hi- you might find out a thing or two. Single. Available. Good. Hell… I’ll be late to work for that.
It is hard to make initial contact. Actually, our inherit nature has conditioned certain moments where we feel more comfortable when making contact. How many times have you hit on someone at a bar with a beer in your hand compared to a supermarket with a shopping basket in hand? Same goes for women, when you finally say to yourself, “I’m going for it and approaching a guy”. We all know the answer. Yet, outside of the bar, it is the same situation with the same set of rules. In actuality, it is easier to hit on the opposite sex outside of the bar. See, they’re not prepared and the guard is down. Hence, greater success rate. (Please no catcalls).
But one says, “No, he/she is going to think I’m weird” or “I don’t want to look needy”. Well, that is true if you are weird and needy. But, if you’re not… relax say hi and see where it goes. You don’t need an agenda. And more importantly, you don’t have anything to lose. You can go on with your day. Not like heading back to your friends after a fail.
What if the guy is a creep? Or the girl is crazy? I will answer this question with a question. How much more likely are the people that you see everyday crazy than the people that you meet at clubs, bars, and parties? Eh?
Following are two contact starters that apply to men and women:
Example 1- At a supermarket: Hi. That looks like… What is that?… Lean meat. Is that grass-fed or organic? Boom. I’m already in a conversation with this person.
Example 2- In an elevator, just you and the other person: I hate this awkward part… Are we suppose to look at each other now or just stare at the floor. Always works.
What is actually happening here? Essentially, you are eliminating the fear of rejection. Rejection hurts. I know. For some, the fear is enough to prevent a simple hi and a chance encounter. However, what I have described above creates the situation of meeting someone in the realm of happenstance. There is no real rejection, because your goal is not set in stone. You say hi. Things look good. Ok, keep going. Not good. Move on… no harm. Try it and see what happens.