Man Etiquette 101 Part 2: Dine and Dash

Just to be clear, ‘dine and dash’ refers to the action of going to a restaurant, ordering food, eating the whole meal, and then leaving the restaurant without paying. Understandably, there are inherit dangers and consequences associated with a ‘dine and dash’. Therefore, if considering this plan of action, it should be understood that Man Etiquette 101 requires that the man allow the woman to ‘dash’ first.

Executing a ‘dine and dash’ can be a wonderful beginning to a relationship or a revitalizing spark to an entrenched committed relationship. Imagine this… you order the New York steak, she orders the pasta with pesto and shrimp. You both have a drink, laugh, and canoodle.  And, then comes the bill… You look it over. You then lean over to your date and whisper, “Hey, let’s dine and dash.”

How sexy is that? Bad Boy label. Check.

So, if you’re a pro, then you would know that some planning needs to take place in order to accomplish a successful ‘dine and dash’. Some reconnaissance, cost benefit analysis, maybe even an inside man.

For those that don’t know where to start, here is a beginner’s guide.

1. ASSESS YOUR ENVIRONMENT. Count how many eyes are in your immediate vicinity. Try not to get a table in the middle of the dining area. If the restaurant is busy… that is a good thing. You just don’t want eyes to be on you.

2. DISTANCE. What is your distance to the restroom and the exits. *Very important to confirm that an exit is not an EMERGENCY EXIT. That’s a quick way to ruin a plan.

3. EVALUATE YOUR SERVER’S VORACITY. Is your server on top of things and checking up on your table every 15 minutes? In this case, it is better to have a server that has a bad attitude and just wants her shift to be over.

4. BE SUPER NICE AND DO NOT ATTRACT ATTENTION TO YOURSELF. It is vital to lower the server’s guard, that way she leaves you alone. Also, keep the alcohol to a minimum.  That is the livelihood of the restaurant industry. Ordering three drinks each is a bad idea, and a great way to have the server’s full and undivided attention.

5. ALWAYS LET THE DAME DASH FIRST. After the plan is set. Give the keys to your date, ask her to head to restroom, then out a side exit, and head to the car.  You wait at the table for a minute, put a coaster on your drink, and then head out the front door.

Why the front door you ask? ‘Cause if by chance an employee says, “Hey! Where you going?” You just say, “I’m tired of waiting, and want to pay my bill.” Otherwise, keep walking right out the door. The hostess won’t say anything because they think you already paid.

Also, if you played it right- were pleasant and kept to yourself- they won’t expect that you would ‘dine and dash’, and never just walk out the front door.

Sexy time with your date assured. Your welcome.

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