Franky Friday Edition: Avoid Being the Drunk Uncle

It’s that time of the year. The holiday season is filled with food, drink, and family events. It is also a time to beware of being the drunk uncle. It is really easy to drink any other time of the year and not get flack… but during the holiday season it is a problem all of a sudden. You know what I say… I’m not a drunk because I don’t drink when I sleep. Tell ’em. HMPH. (That’s going on one of the BAD LIFE COACH shirts for Etsy).

Anyway, this Frankly Friday Edition includes a preparatory piece of advice. In order to avoid being the drunk uncle this season, follow these two steps: (1) show up to a family event an hour later than you normally would, and (2) make sure your family is more drunk than you.

It is not going to be easy, but there are some options to facilitate the drinking. One, you can buy several cheap wines. Reds, whites, blues whatever… make them seem special and create flights for tastings (Ohhh!). In the context of wine, a flight just means several glasses filled with smaller portions of wines used for wine tastings. Load ’em up and entertain your family and guests with class.

You can also get a Black Label (or even better a Blue Label) whiskey bottle that’s hanging around empty (you have one), and fill it up with cheap whiskey. When you take it to the party, pass out shots and revel in the appreciation, faces, and noises everyone will have when drinking. Oh, that’s some special whiskey.

Now the hardest target… your mother- who hasn’t had a drink in 30 years. You’re gonna have to break out the big guns. But I have exactly what she needs. SANGRIA! No mother can resist. All you need is to buy that box wine and some peaches and oranges. Mix in a jug and let stand at least for an hour. If you want something extra special, throw in some Cointreau and Triple Sec. Done deal. Your mom will be sauced up, everyone will be smiling, you can drink in peace and binge on protein and carbs.

As they say… make it happen cap’n.


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